Modern- deviantart.netThis is one of my favourite topics-  I’ll try not to get too carried away by not making the post too long but I can assure you folks that it will be a very interesting one- Enjoy!

So, the modern Vs. the traditional couple- By modern, I am referring to a couple with a dynamic, young, and diverse mind-set. While by traditional- I am referring to a couple who although can be young but have a mind-set of the old style marriage, beliefs and values. Of course there can be some similarities between both – but there are certainly some differences in characters, expectations and mind sets.

  1. Pre-relationship and courtship – With the modern couple, the wooing is done by both partners. In some cases, it can even be the lady who sees the bloke and initiated the first conversation- while courting; both parties make an effort to show each other their interest. The lady would spend money on dates and gifts to woo the man and vice versa. With a traditional couple, the responsibility lies completely with the man, he finds a way to persuade and encourage the lady to be with him. He spends time, money and other resources to win her over, the lady would only spend any of her resources if she feels like but would get away with not lifting a finger- well at least nothing is expected of her.
  2. Proposal & engagement – In a modern type relationship, the couple will refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend until the guy or the girl in some cases goes on one knee to propose marriage with an engagement ring. This is when the couple can now refer to each other as fiancé. With the traditional couple on the other hand, the girl assumes the guy as her fiancé from the day she accepts to be in a relationship with him. There is almost no dating phase and in most cases, there is no one knee or a diamond ring until the traditional engagement ceremony which is done in the presence of their family members and some friends.
  3. The wedding – With the modern couple, they plan, decide and are solely in charge of all aspect of their wedding ceremony. They inform their friends and family of what is required only. While with your traditional couple, the parents, especially the bride’s parents are almost fully in charge of the ceremony and only seek opinion of specific items from the couple.
  4. The marriage- Sexual relations- With the modern couple, both parties are responsible for the couples’ sex life. They both initiate sexual intercourse, the lady is free and expresses all her sexual desires with her husband without being shy or being afraid of having any effect on how her husband sees her, there is usually constant PDA( public display of affection) as if they are alone everywhere they go. With a traditional couple, the lady is usually timid in the bedroom department. In some cases, she will never initiate sex as she is afraid that her husband will see her as a lady who is over- active sexually. She will feel the need to fulfil her husband sexually as it is his right to have her whenever he wants. Bare in mind, she can use sex as her weapon when she is angry with her husband. In most cases, the only PDA you see with this kind of couple is holding hands, and that’s even rare.
  5. The marriage- couples’ relationship- with a modern couple, they make decision on all topics together, they wait to hear from each other before concluding on every single matter. The other party has the right to be angry if any decision is made without them being consulted or at least notified. They have arguments, they both have their opinions, and they basically agree to disagree. With the traditional couple however, the husband is expected to make most if not all the decision within his household. The wife can decide on certain things in his absence but she is obliged to inform him when she is able to. When the wife disagrees, she will usually find the best way to pass the information across to her husband, she cannot be aggressive- there are also arguments in this kind of marriage but it is rather kept to a minimal as the wife is usually patient since she feels the need to be in order to keep the marriage.
  6. The marriage- financial relations- with a modern couple, both parties are obliged to take up all financial commitment. In most cases, the bills are split based on the party that earns the most in the relationship. After paying the bills, they both save towards a common goal- buying a house, a car or any other financial obligations. With a traditional couple, the husband has the duty of providing for his family. In rare cases where the wife earns more than the husband, then they would usually have a joint account which the husband will be in charge of. In other cases, he will go to any length to make sure his family are comfortable because he feels totally responsible for this.
  7. The marriage- beliefs and culture- the marriage culture with the traditional couple is usually more relaxed, the couple are married and that means they are bound together forever- divorce is never an option- no matter what happens- they stay together. The worst that can happen is counselling and this is only by a trusted family member of the clergy man of their chosen religion. With the modern family- the couple have to be constantly innovative as each party understands that the other party has every right to pull out of the marriage for reasons such as boredom, faded love, and lack of happiness or for irreconcilable differences. The marriage vows although have being made to last forever but sadly the weight of this vow is not usually that heavy when the couple considers divorce as their only option.

There are several other characters that will differentiate a modern couple from a traditional couple- the points I noted above are just the important few- both orientation has its beautiful and ugly side just like everything else in life.

The point of this piece is for you to try and understand where you stand as a couple or as an individual- the ironical part is that in most marriages, each party have a different orientation in specific topics and only agree on one or two of the above- this post should help you better understand your partner and maybe know the basis of their actions at times.

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Over to you folks- are you a traditional or modern couple? Or as an individual do you have the modern or traditional mindset? Let’s hear your opinion and experience.